Each individual differs from others in various ways. In the workplace, these differences often set people apart, or lead to the formation of groups that exclude colleagues who are "they" and not "we". This, in turn, often prevents people from relating comfortably with some colleagues and clients - and thus from contributing fully to their organisation, or from reaching their full career potential. At the very least, being treated as an outsider or being left out from discussions that concern them can cause dissatisfaction and demotivate staff.

Although for decades (if not for centuries) discrimination and highlighting differences were common practice - and even legislated - in South Africa, many people seemed to believe in the euphoria of change, that as from May 1994, these factors would no longer be a problem. Such an assumption would, of course, be naive, as even in countries where apartheid never existed, and where people have worked sincerely to establish an egalitarian society, prejudice and discrimination are still facts of life. People are usually more comfortable with people of "our own kind", and likely to be cautious, intolerant or uncomfortable with, or dismissive, suspicious or fearful of, people who differ from them in various ways. Even within families, the fact that girls and boys are brought up differently - and resulting "cultural" differences - can lead to discriminatory treatment, self-esteem problems and misunderstanding.

What makes it more difficult to deal with, is the fact that most of this differential treatment is not deliberate or conscious, but that these behaviours and prejudices are usually unconscious habits and even well-meant paternalism or perceived "politeness".

As in society, these attitudes also pervade the workplace. In the past differences were often overemphasised, with divisive or even destructive results. Employers now need to invest effort and time to help ensure that the diversity of their workforce is valued and managed positively, to enrich both their companies and individual staff members. But before we can fully benefit from this diversity, we have to recognise and acknowledge differences among staff, and understand their possible personal, social and workplace implications.

Visible differences
The factors that could set people apart from others include the most obvious ones of gender, race, and physical disability. The Americans use the term "minority groups" for people who are "different" in these ways, and often experience prejudice or discrimination personally and at the workplace because of such differences. Therefore we could describe them as "visible minorities".

More subtle personal differences
There are also various other, more subtle factors that could separate people from others, including cultural background, religion, language, educational level, age, physical size, state of health, marital status, immigrant status, nationality, sexual preference and lifestyle. Social or economic status, wealth and way of dress, speech and behaviour often visibly reinforce these differences. For example, particularly since recent events in which a few Muslims committed violence, many people in many countries may respond negatively to people in Muslim dress that had nothing to do with the events concerned.

Differences in function or work situation
Functional speciality or training can be a major dividing factor, causing misunderstanding, mistrust and conflict between, for example, marketing, production and maintenance staff, or between accountants and engineers or personnel managers. Different ways of viewing or approaching problems, different priorities, professional jargon and power factors such as competing for scarce resources, often strengthen the "we and they" mentality at work. Being a newcomer in a company or a department, or an immigrant can also cause someone to feel - or to be - excluded, and could lengthen the period before the staff member can contribute fully. If old staff feel threatened or up-staged by the newcomer, this of course becomes worse. Similarly, organisational level can be divisive, as a group of workers may behave and talk differently when their manager is - or isn't - around, causing the manager to feel like an "outsider", despite his or her power base.

Whatever the cause/s of the exclusion, the situation is usually influenced by both

• the attitudes, views and behaviour of the "in-group" or majority (of whom there are many, and who are often powerful), and
• the expectations, perceptions and reactions of the "out-group" or minority (usually a smaller group who feel disempowered or marginalised).

What may be experienced as discrimination by the "minority" person or group, is often not intended or perceived in that way by the in-group. It may come from awkwardness with people who are different, from deep-seated prejudice, or often from stereotyped beliefs about other people or groups. Over-reaction, or passive acceptance, by the "others" may also make matters worse.

In The Human Zoo, famous anthropologist Desmond Morris explains how the vicious circle of stereotyping and prejudice develops, by generalising and ascribing qualities and behaviour of one individual to the whole group to which he or she belongs - and acting accordingly.

"Let me illustrate what happens, using an imaginary example. These are the stages:

1. Look at that green-haired man hitting a child.
2. That green-haired man is vicious.
3. All green-haired men are vicious.
4. Green-haired men will attack anyone.
5. There's another green-haired man - hit him before he hits you. (The green-haired man, who has done nothing to provoke aggression, hits back to defend himself.)
6. There you are - that proves it: green-haired men are vicious.
7. Hit all green-haired men."

It is widely recognised that, partly because of stereotyping, people who are different, often face various obstacles to get into, and take longer to move upwards in, organisations. But eventually, given the necessary abilities, most of them overcome these obvious, or "first generation" problems. This progress is nowadays also facilitated in many cases by equal opportunities and affirmative action programmes, and by recent labour legislation in South Africa.

As such individuals move up, however, they usually face a new batch of challenges, their "second-generation problems". These problems are mostly not so much typical of the group they come from (women, black, or whatever). Related mainly to communication and interpersonal relations, these problems could be experienced by anyone - but they are usually made worse by the fact that these individuals belong to a "minority group" different from most of their peers. Such a person is often the only one of his or her kind on that level. This could make them more visible and more exposed to criticism, and at the same time also more self-conscious, eager-to-please and sensitive to criticism.

This type of problem is analysed clearly by Rosabeth Moss Kanter in her award-winning book, Men and Women of the Corporation, and well illustrated in her video A Tale of "O". The people of whom there are many are shown "Xs", and those of whom there are few, as "Os". Using these neutral labels she shows how this numerical imbalance infuences the behaviour of both Xs and Os - and explains how many of the responses that Os may experience as discriminatory, may not be intended that way.

While varying between individuals, these problems largely stem from the fact that the "minority" individual had to battle to prove him- or herself before gaining acceptance and promotion. They may also result from some previous "first generation" problems, whether these are internal (personal, such as lack of self-esteem or relevant qualifications) or external (in the business environment, such as racism, bad experiences with feedback, or power games). When I once described these "second generation" problems to the CEO of a large company, he said: "I recognise them. You are talking about the chip-on-the-shoulder syndrome." It is so that a series of negative experiences early on in someone's career can leave him or her with a "chip on the shoulder."

I outline the "new" problems - more subtle than those experienced earlier in their careers - in Table 1 below:

The linkages and mutual reinforcements between some of the factors listed in the table above may be obvious. Not each upwardly mobile, "different" person suffers to the same extent from each of the problems. But in discussions with, and research among hundreds of people attending various workshops, (particularly people of colour and women), I have found this complex of problems to be fairly common. It appears that the problems frequently experienced among "minorities" are:

• trying too hard for acceptance and recognition
• lack of political skills and power
• lack of mentors giving much-needed frank, timeous, constructive feedback
• neglecting informal interpersonal relations due to excessive task orientation, and previous experience of discrimination providing a convenient explanation for any workrelated problems, in the absence of insight gained from constructive feedback and mentors.

Resulting from these problems, such people may feel hurt and rejected, and withdraw - thus appearing even more task-oriented and aloof. Consequently, colleagues are less likely to get to know and like them, or give them the constructive feedback they need. If their selfconfidence dwindles because they don't know where they went wrong, they may become hyper-sensitive to criticism, and less assertive or even too aggressive. Obviously this pattern can become a vicious circle.

Sometimes people who are different may also see-saw between "withdrawal due to rejection" and "trying too hard for acceptance" - both of which harm their relations with colleagues.

Of course many people have overcome these problems of transition into a higher-level position. But this requires both insight on their side, and understanding and constructive guidance from their superiors and peers.

The "first-generation problems" mostly concern individuals having to overcome lack of career orientation, self-confidence, assertiveness or career and political skills in themselves - and having to convince people in their work (and even their social and home) environments that they are career-worthy.

The "second-generation problems" result largely from past experience of discrimination and from being different from most of one's peers. It is also worth noting that these factors usually affect "minority people" in large organisations more than self-employed individuals or people in smaller organisations, where people are more often viewed and valued as individuals, rather than as members of "in- or out-" groups.

What individuals can do to overcome "second generation" problems
Since the individuals concerned have the most to lose due to their career problems, they have the prime responsibility for stopping the vicious circle and solving the problems.

People must get to grips with the problems facing them, by reading, discussing, attending seminars dealing with diversity, communication and related issues. Mutually supportive networks and peers giving one another helpful feedback can be of great value.

• Conscious, careful career planning, and obtaining the necessary skills and qualifications are essential - even if plans and goals may have to be adapted as opportunities and life situations change.
• Individuals must ask guidance and feedback from managers, colleagues and friends, and learn from this. Mentors who take an interest in their career development can be invaluable.
• Learn to strike a good balance between people- and task-orientation.

Second-generation problems deserve special attention. People need to carefully analyse their approach to people and their communication style to see whether it is appropriate to their new position. Should they discover problem areas, they have to tackle these one by one. And they should beware of being hyper-sensitive and seeing prejudice in every action of others. People who play the "racism" or "sexism" card every time they are criticised or experience opposition, are not only their own worst enemies - they also do damage to the cause of others in their own group, and to healthy intergroup relations.

"Minorities" must guard against blaming all problems they experience at work on discrimination or the convenient explanations "It's because I'm black / a woman / Jewish / an immigrant / an Afrikaner", or whatever, or "They're jealous". Even if this may be so, each individual can still do much to break down prejudice and disprove stereotypes that others may have - and thus improve work relations for themselves, and for others like them.

Managers or colleagues who are sensitive and aware can also do much to help by recognising some of the danger signals of "the minority mentality", and giving the person concerned open and constructive feedback, along with the necessary support and encouragement.